so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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