bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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