We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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