playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
