I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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