I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
