I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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