Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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