I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
