THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
do herpes really smell.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
