singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
