i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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