I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
