You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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