Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
