I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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