drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
