I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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