so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
