I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
