I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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