No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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