i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am available for nakedness
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
