you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize