did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
