she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
