it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize