Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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