Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
