u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Too much gin, very little bucket
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
