Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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