She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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