ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize