yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
