At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
