I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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