there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
