they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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