It was confusing and full of hummus
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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