why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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