just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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