I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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