What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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