Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
