dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
