yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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