thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize