Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
