I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
