Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
third nipple confirmed
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
