I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
