Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
