dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
