Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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