Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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