i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am mentally ready for anal.
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