dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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