Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
