Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
