420 ftw
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My feet surprised me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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