wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
